We often equate success with substantial bank accounts, corporate titles, fame and popularity, an array of properties and the list goes on and more often than not, we think that with success comes happiness but do you often wonder why some filthy rich people still commit suicide?
I wouldn’t wonder if the homeless nor those living paycheck to paycheck would rather do it.
When we thought that with all the glam and beauty in Hollywood, a number of celebrity couples who seemed to be a match made in heaven still end up in divorce. If success cannot guarantee happiness, then what is?
In his book, Man’s Search for Meaning, Viktor Frankl, an Austrian psychiatrist and neurologist, narrates his struggles and realizations while being held in captive at Nazi concentration camp. He said, “Don’t aim at success. The more you aim at it and make it a target, the more you are going to miss it. For success, like happiness, cannot be pursued; it must ensue, and it only does so as the unintended side effect of one’s personal dedication to a cause greater than oneself or as the by-product of one’s surrender to a person other than oneself.”
Instead of chasing success, seek meaning in your life for success is temporary. One day you are at the top, the next day you could be at the bottom. Finding meaning in everything we do and knowing the very reason for doing it helps us reassess if such pursuit is indeed worthwhile.
When we were just starting out in life and gradually achieved the things we sought for, eventually everything becomes saturated, plateaued and then we begin to ask ourselves, “What’s next?” or “I thought I’m going to be happy when I achieve this or have that.” We feel that after all these years and those times chasing to achieve these most sought-after goals ,we realized it was a useless endeavour. That everything was futile and our definition of success will never fill the void in our life. The more we aim for success to fill our self-serving happiness, the more we become empty.
Finding meaning in everything we do puts our life into perspective. When we transcend beyond ourselves and focus on serving others, happiness then becomes a by-product. Shifting our attention to helping other people fills our need for belongingness, for emotional connection and gives us a higher sense of purpose. The very thing that provides us genuine happiness.
Humans and every creature is created with that sole purpose—to serve one another. The sun doesn’t shine for its own benefit but it provide sunlight to plants, animals and humans to survive. The trees don’t expel oxygen for it to live but for humans to breathe. Nature has shown us exactly that we have our own roles to perform and in order to thrive. We simply don’t just exist but we have to do what we are meant to do – to serve.
This pandemic dramatically changed the course of things. That horrendous feeling of not seeing the end of the tunnel, the immense weight that this anxiety is putting on our mental health and the helplessness and hopelessness of this whole situation has shaken the very core of our being. We may have been destroyed physically but nowhere can it sabotage us emotionally, mentally and spiritually without our permission.
In order to survive his day-to-day existence at the Nazi camp, probably the worst place to be at that time, Viktor Frankl would retreat to his inner self and to his imagination. Marching at the dead of winter and being beaten by Nazi soldiers when people were moving slow or pulling their hats to keep them warm, he would imagine seeing his wife smiling at him or perhaps finally publishing his book about Logotherapy. Later he would find out that his wife died in Auschwitz, few miles from where his barracks was located. In the most horrifying and desolate place he was in, Frankl would deliberately find meaning and purpose of everything. He willingly accepted the unfortunate situation that befall on him, endure the sufferings yet strive to see the beauty in it.
They say the happiest people in the world are not always the most successful. Success and the idea of being on top does not ensure real happiness, rather it will leave us empty and unhappy. It is only when we learn to master our selves, to thrive and survive in every difficult circumstances , and to transcend beyond our selves – that is to serve others, that we can truly find meaning in our life and then happiness simply follows.
For what shall it profit a man, if he shall gain the whole world, and lose his own soul? – Mark 8:36