The Gravity of the Battle Means Nothing to Those at Peace

For most of us, peace is the absence of conflict. Do you think it is possible to live problem-free? Definitely not in this lifetime! With life comes pleasure, love, happiness but also illness, trials, economic diversity, relationship issues so on and so forth.

Merriam-Webster dictionary defines peace as a state of security or order, tranquility or quietness. It is also synonymous to safety, well-being, freedom from disturbance. So many of us, myself included, chase for the wrong things thinking these so-called “goals” will provide us security, stability, happiness and peace. Career, money, prestige, fame are some of the egotistical things that we pursue, our holy grail in that sense.

I wonder why there are so many wealthy and successful people end up depressed, anxious and suicidal. Money should make them happy and secure.Should it not?

The last two years have been a defining moment for humanity. Pandemic, war between Russia and Ukraine, natural disasters, racial crimes. You name it. We have seen a rise in broken families, teenage suicide, mental health crisis all threatening the  very core of our society — family. The noise and chaos of the world is unbearable and frightening to say the least. How is inner peace achieved when every day is a fight or flight for our security, happiness, survival, health, family and finances?

It is perfectly normal to be anxious for these things but to be excessively anxious? That is very crippling and stressful. We don’t want to live in fear and worry all the days of our lives.

Inner peace does not equal to ones personal circumstances or financial stability. Having a hefty bank account does not guarantee peace of mind when a family member is diagnosed with cancer. Having a high-paying career does not mean a bright future and a happy family life because “time and unexpected events (death, war, illness, political upheavals) overtake them all.”  (Ecclesiastes 9:11)

An extract from the book called The Monk Who Sold His Ferrari says, “What lies behind you and what lies in front of you is nothing compared to what lies within you”.  Focus on building your inner fortress because that will be your sanctuary when life  becomes hard and unpredictable. No amount of power, prestige  or wealth can ever save you when deep inside you are crumbling.  How is inner peace achieved and cultivated then?

• Establish a personal relationship with God.

Two months after our wedding, my husband died due to heart attack leaving me and my unborn child completely heartbroken. The thought of me raising our child alone was terrifying. I couldn’t believe I am now a young widow and it shattered me to pieces knowing my child will now grow fatherless. A day before he died, I sat beside him on the bed. He was in coma. I have an inkling at that moment that this was not going to end well and started saying my prayers. I know that the situation right in front of me was something beyond my control already. I was looking at the “impossibility”. That night was the longest night in my life, the most painful and downright unforgettable. It was the first time I have talked to God as if He was just right in front of me, pouring out all my pain and fears and begging Him to never abandon me. That conversation gave me peace and reassurance I so badly needed although I knew, much as I want to deny, that my husband will not make it. Next day he died. Fast forward to today and twelve years after his death, God never fails to manifest His love and grace for me and my son, a mighty evidence that we made this far with His undeserved kindness. Establishing a personal relationship with the Father helped me immensely in so many ways. I have my fair share of ups and downs as a single parent here in Canada and more are still to come but I am secured and at peace knowing that God will continue to keep His promise and I will hang on to that. Seeking a relationship with our Creator and knowing that He is the God of possibilities warrants us the calmness of the heart and spirit which will help us navigate every depression, crisis or battles we are in.

• Cultivate your relationships with your family and other people.

One thing this pandemic has taught us is how valuable  and precious our family is. No amount of success or wealth can ever replace our family nor can guarantee us happiness.  Think about the many wealthy celebrities or public figures we know, notwithstanding their thick bank accounts, still end up miserable and broken. Their common denominator? It’s either they have failed marriages or feud within the family or perhaps feelings of alienation and indifference or lack of care and respect within the family circle. Even in regular households, this is also prevalent leaving many of teenagers in alarming state of  depression and anxiety. Our own family is an extension of ourselves and when there is chaos, even though you are not involved, it will still affect you no matter what. Others chose to stay away and leave but understand that this is not a viable solution. The distance will never guarantee you peace of mind instead it will haunt you even after years or decades of speaking to them. One will never be completely happy knowing that the very core of his or her existence is broken. Heal that wound and be amazed how love and respect  can bring transformative change in ones life. On the other side, having a healthy family relationship helps us feel secure, safe and stable as adults.  When trouble comes, we know that we are not fighting alone and we can always reach out to our family for love, support and protection.

Besides our family, the people around us also play an important role when it comes to cultivating our inner peace. Establishing good relationships with everyone gives us a sense of stability and tranquility although at times this can be challenging especially in our workplace but at least we can try to be civil and professional in how we deal. This will not only make our job easier but we are  contributing to creating a harmonious work relationship with our colleagues.

• Let go of the illusion that you have control in everything.

Much of our anxiety comes with the need to desperately control everything. For most of us, success is tantamount to having  control on most things, how a certain thing should be handled and the results being predictable or controllable. Without such control or hold on how things or how plans will be executed, in a human perception of success, this is a sign of weakness or incompetence. Little did we know that having such illusion that we have control on things is a pitfall. This is why so many of us get frustrated or upset when things don’t go our way. Remind yourself that all humans are finite beings and limited in our capacities. Surrender yourself to that one Higher Being who has the absolute control over everything. Know that some things are beyond our control such as death, the future of our children, employment etc. Life is designed that way so manage your expectations and focus on things you ONLY can control. Remember we only have a finite amount of energy. Be selective.

Lastly, an important element that you need to have as you continue to navigate life is to be accepting on how life will unfold its course. Don’t go against the current but flow with the current. That is the only way to free yourself up from unnecessary suffering.

• Learn the art of forgiveness.

Things can be unfair and messy in life whether at your own doing or that of others. Yes, we make mistakes and will continue to be that way simply because we are not perfect.  We regret so badly and hated ourselves for eternity. Other people also inflict some pain on us, whether intentional or otherwise. However, the best remedy and gift we can give to ourselves is to forgive “seventy times seven”. Forgiveness does not promise resolution to a problem or misunderstanding but it does offer peace  and serenity to the giver which is far greater than being right all the time. If we keep dwelling on our mistakes or that of others, we rob ourselves the chance to be happy and be at peace. Let go of the bitterness and free yourself from the burden of these negative emotions. Go light and the higher you will bounce in life.

Life is never a walk in the park. Once in a while, you will have crisis, problems, and conflict. It is part and parcel of human existence but harnessing your mind and heart will help you weather the storms of life; not your money, success or power. Focus on building your inner fortress  and you will remain unshaken when the blows of life come your way.

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 ^“Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid.” – John 14:27